My friend took this picture of me over the weekend. I don’t recognize myself in any of it, well, except for the purse and phone. I really want to ask her to take it off the internet, but if I don’t have these reminders, then it’ll be easier to pretend I don’t have a problem. This is what the rest of the world sees when they look at me.
In two fridays I have a 12k to walk, immediately after work. I’m excited, but I must admit, I totally forgot about it until just this morning, and, I really haven’t done any “long” walks. I cap out at about 3 miles. I am really planning on getting one in this weekend. I might make it my only plan this weekend, in fact. The week after the 12k, there’s the Alaska Run for Women, which is 5 miles, but as I’ll be walking to and from the starting line, it’ll end up being closer to 8. My body is still under prepared for this. I need to shift my focus and start doing more, challenging myself more.
Instead of going to the gym this morning, I went on a walk around the neighborhood. It was nice to get out and enjoy the sunny weather.
I kind of got derailed, going to Ohio last week. I’m slowly getting things back on track, but damn it’s hard. I bought a pack of cigarettes upon my arrival home, despite that I had quit nearly two years ago. I’m not happy to admit this. I bought a second pack, and gave 75% of it to my friend (the same one who took the picture). I’m done with that now. For now.
One day at a time.