Saruman the Chatterbox (Rated R for Language)

After a long day of wandering around the mall, I met up with my friend Rachel and we went on a “run” not far from my place of residence. As I was getting ready to leave, Saruman walked in, and I causually invited her. She decided to join in, and after waiting for her to change, we left.

Rachel is a very fit person and went off running at a pace I can only dream about. Saruman and I stayed behind, I wanted to get a longer walk in before I started off running, and she decided to stay with me. At first she seemed surprised at how slow I was going, and kind of made comments about it. “Oh, I thought were were going to go at a full tilt pace” and “this is a lot easier than I thought” “this isn’t hard at all, some people just run really slow, I guess.”

Foul Language Ensues….

I wanted to punch her and say, “bitch, I weigh 300 pounds. The fact that I’m jogging at all is a fucking miracle, now shut your fat fucking mouth before I toss your fucking ass in the ocean!”

Instead I just tried to focus on my breathing and nodded along to her incessant chatter. Usually I’m a good and happy listener, but then she starts saying things like, “Oh yeah, my friend trained me to run 6 miles 12 years ago. I guess I still have my endurance,” and “not much of a runner, hm.” and I take a hit on my confidence because clearly she thought I was more capable than I am.

I’m trying to be understanding and listening and calm and all those things that good people do, and I especially don’t want to start a conflict with her, but dammit, I wish someone would rip out her vocal chords already.


I’m really excited about tomorrow. I have confirmed my plans with Rachel and the three of us will be going to Portage Glacier, the start of the Whittier Tunnel Walk. Its the longest tunnel in North America, and Whittier is one of the most magical places I’ve ever seen. I’m hoping having a familiar friend around will make it easier to be around Saruman. And hopefully I’ll actually be able to post pictures from my last three walks. I know I’m laggin’ on that front.

Until next time, friends.

1 thought on “Saruman the Chatterbox (Rated R for Language)

  1. I would have glared at her until she shut up. What an annoying exercise partner who is named VERY appropriately LOL!Have a lovely Sunday enjoying Father's Day.

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