MS Walk 2011

I once met a woman with MS. Her mother was my college!sister’s Godmother. During thanksgiving, we went to visit her at the hospice center where she lived. She was completely immobile, her hands looked like arthritis had played a dirty dirty trick, and her eyes wandered about the room, constantly looking for something new.

I don’t remember her name. I do remember feeling terrified. Multiple Sclerosis is a relatively terrifying disease, with many stages, symptoms, onsets, and no cure.

On Friday afternoon, I got a text from my friend, asking me if I was going to be attending this 4 mile walk, to which I responded, “There’s a walk this weekend I don’t know about?!” as we were figuring out the details, I registered for it online. There was no fee, just a suggested donation/raising of funds for $50.

Saturday arrived, and my friend picked me up half an hour earlier than originally planned, because her friend thought there was something we needed to be early for. Turns out she was incorrect, and her friend showed up about 20 minutes after we did.

We all chatted, and one who was in the army offered me some unsolicited advice on how to lose weight. It involved interval running, and building up to a set amount of miles. “When you let your heart rate go back to normal, and then raise it, and repeat that cycle, the weight just drops off like that!” she explained to me with a snap of her fingers.

I was quite happy to explain to her that I was already doing something similar, though, as with everything, when I start talking to strangers I tend to start stuttering, and lose my confidence, therefore trying to end the conversation as quickly as possible. Unfortunately for me, ( I don’t remember her name) she had a 5hour Energy, two red bulls and a handful of other ridiculous energy boosters that may or may not have been laden with sugar as well. She continued talking to me, telling stories and eventually drowning out the speakers as the “race” was beginning with her chatter.

The countdown began, runners were called to the front. I was right at the imaginary starting line, and decided, “What the hell! I’ll start off jogging.” And so I did. For about… 25 seconds. And then my legs started hurting real bad.

The last time I got any real mileage outside was probably the end of September when it became to cold and rainy and dark to continue walking home from work. Since then, I’ve used the treadmill and elliptical machine, and the difference was stunning. My first shinsplints set in, and my legs felt like lead. My music was bumping, and I tried to get into it, but singing while walking always leaves me a little breathless. So I started to really focus in on my breathing, the “left-right-left inhale right-left exhale”.

At the end of the first mile, there was a station with port-a-potties and volunteers handing out water and orange slices. I grabbed an orange slice gratefully, bit down and sucked out as much juice and pulp as I could in one bite, then threw the masticated carcass in the trash, about two yards head. I kept going. At that point, I noticed the pain in my legs had gone away, my breathing had evened out, and I wanted to finish as quickly as possible, so I picked a place to start jogging, and went to a predetermined place to start walking again.

I did this again and again. Of course I forgot to count how many times this happened, but I would say no less than 7 times. Each jog wasn’t long, maybe 10 or 15 seconds, but it was more jogging outside than I had done all year (which is to say, I haven’t jogged outside at all this year) and I was pretty happy to do it. At one point I really hoped we were already on mile three. I was ready for it to be over. Just as I was wondering how far left there was to go, there was a sign posted that said, “Congratulations! You are half way done!” Instead I pulled my shoulders back and marched onward. (I think I used that sign as a starting place for a jog, actually.)

The MS Walk took place at Lake Hood, which is right next to the Ted Stevens Anchorage International Airport. It is the busiest float plane lake in the entire country, however it was still frozen over while we were out there. We saw a handful of planes take off, and one even held up a hoard of walkers just in front of me.

Finally I could see where the walkers were turning off into the parking lot where the race started. I considered jogging the last bit of it, I felt I had it in me, but when I saw that the walk truly wasn’t timed, I decided to just walk instead. As I was turning the last and final corner into the parking lot, I saw a car full of my new friends, waiting for me to finish! It was nice to see them cheer me on. I finished the four miles in approximately 1:08, according to my friend’s timer. 17 minute mile average. Pretty slow, I think, but I’ll take it. Its better than not finishing at all!

Afterward, I grabbed a hot dog and some water. We ate them in her car, and I got ketchup on my face. She drove me home, and then I took a long bath, and a 4 hour nap. It was a good day. Perhaps next year I’ll actually try to raise some money. I sure would like a teeshirt!

Improptu Walk

Today my friend asked me if I was going on the MS walk on saturday. I responded, “What? There is a walk happening that I don’t know about? How can this be?”

As we were texting to get the details, I registered myself for it. It didn’t even occur to me to not participate. Registration is free, though they do encourage walker/runners to donate/fundraise. I’m no good at that, so I’ll probably give them a handful of dollars and call it a day.

This walk is taking place around Lake Hood in Anchorage, AK. In the past I live relatively close to it, and use to walk up to the restricted access sign and then turn back around. I’m pretty sure this course is going to lead us all the way around this time which excites me to no end. I hope I get to take some pictures. Lake Hood is the countries busiest float plane lake. The statisitcs have failed me as its nearly 1am and I have to be up in 6 hours, but last I hear, I was pretty impressed.

My eating today was delicious. I did not count calories, and if I had, I would probably hate myself for it. I’m trying this thing where I don’t attach guilt to the food I eat. Its difficult at the best of times, and today was pretty okay. It helps when I plan out my days meals in advance, and I didn’t do that for today. It probably won’t happen for tomorrow either.

On that note, I’m going to try to get my sleep on and prepare for tomorrow! Have a great night or beautiful day!

Shamrock 5k Scramble Report

I don’t mean to keep putting off this post. Quite a few things happened this weekend that are worth mentioning, the first of which, I completed my first 5k of the year, the Shamrock 5k in Anchorage. It was outside, it was snowy, and I rocked it. I walked the there-and-back course, on the trails groomed for cross-country skiing, in 43:15. This is a new PR for me, though I haven’t really been keeping score. The day before I had walked one mile in 17 minutes and thought that was pretty bragworthy, so imagine my surprise when I saw that I had managed a 14:33 pace! I had no idea I had it in me to walk so fast. All my time at the gym and Zumba’ing has really paid off!

I had never done this race before (I had no idea what the course was going to be like either!) and I had a hell of a time trying to get someone to join me. I eventually went by myself, though I had to call a cab (which was the one thing I was trying to avoid).  Half way to Alaska Pacific University where it was being held, I realized I left my bib at home. I couldn’t ask the cabbie to turn around and cost me even more dollars, so I just went with it. It was very uncomfortable for me to be there by myself, and I wasn’t sure how to dress because, well, its Alaska.

Then, just to make everything a bit more interesting, when I got there, I realized that one of my ear bud jellies had gone missing. What was I gonna do? What else could I do? I couldn’t just… go home. I couldn’t just give up. When I realized that basically everyone around would be running, I wanted to shake myself and ask why I had even gone in the first place. But I did it anyway.

The trail was pretty. The beginning was pretty hilly, and I was kind of scared that the whole thing was going to be like that. But it evened out pretty quickly, and as the runners all broke off, I settled into a walking pace not to far behind those in front of me. It didn’t take very long for me to start passing them. The trail was clearly marked, and with every bend there were a handful of people, and at two occasions, EMT’s,  cheering us all on. Part of me wanted to be rude everytime I walked by and they were cheering me on. It was very difficult to accept their enthusasm as something that wasn’t… contrived. I of course was the perfect picture of grattitude, saying thanks along the way to every one that was cheering. One lady said, “You’re almost there!” and made me believe for a moment, that the turn around point was just over the next bend.

It wasn’t.

I found it very difficult to not stop and take pictures at every turn, yet at the same time, found my pace increasing more and more and wasn’t sure how I’d make my legs stop, even if I wanted. (Thus, I apologize for the crappy photos.) Finally reaching the half way point was less thrilling than I had hoped. It was just a circle marked off, and you wound your way around it. There was one woman, sitting in a chair, and ringing a cow bell.

I kept going, and going and going, I passed all the other walkers, and although all the runners had finished, I was certain I was at the head of the walker’s group. Finally I made it back up the hill, then back down the hill, and suddenly there was a small group of people, a ticker and a pink line with two safety cones on either side, in the snow. I finished. I looked up at the ticker, and nearly paused. 43 minutes, you say? Surely I’ve been out here huffing and puffing for an hour! No? I did pull out my phone, which confirmed I had been walking for less than an hour. My mind was blown. So blown in fact, that it took 4 days to write this blog post about it. Anyway, as I was crossing the finish line, they asked me where my bib was. I felt a wave of shame try to wash over me as I explained as earnestly as possible that I left it at home. They called me a bandit, the first one of the race, and had a laugh. You see, I couldn’t feel too much shame, because I already felt freakin’ awesome.

Actually, Saturday was a very eventful day for me. That evening I went to see No Strings Attached with my friend Rachel. It was my second time seeing it, and I loved it both times. I love how awkward and skinny Natalie Portman is.

However, before I went and saw that movie, I attended my very first, and hopefully only,  Military Funeral. One of my very good friends committed suicide after returning from her deployment in Afghanistan. I didn’t know what to say or do. I still don’t. I just hope she can finally find the peace that has evaded her for so long.

So again, if you have any military people in your life, make sure they’re talking about their experiences, not holding it in. That they’re seeking proper medical assistance if they need it, and make sure they know you love them. I had no idea the last time I saw her would truly be the last time I saw her. I’m very grateful that I was able to see her one last time.

I better be able to walk 13.1 miles…

…Because come Sept. 18th, I will be in Maui, walking a half marathon. I am really doing this. Its bought and paid for, so I’d better go! I’m super excited. The whole thing just kind of fell into place. And now, I just need to get in shape.

Me and my mom, taken oct. 2010

My mom and I are flying out on the 14th, we’ll be staying for an entire week and she will be walking a 5k. Currently my mom is suffering from really bad arthiris in her knees, mostly due to being overweight. I hope this turns into an opportunity to rediscover her awesomeness.

The most amazing part of this trip is, I had originally planned to do something similar over my birthday this year. However, when I saw that this marathon would be happening in September, I knew it was fate. You see, it is happening a year from the day my aunt died. My mom was very very close to her, as was I, and I know it’ll be a great way to let go, honor her and move forward.

Food log 2/1/11

Breakfast cookie, banana, half cup hot cocoa. (My whey protein curdled in my mug. I was pretty distraught.)

2 cups black bean corn couscous salad, breakfast cookie, handful of trailmix. (I felt starved all day at work. It was terrible.)

whole grain spaghetti with broccoli, spinach, and alfredo sauce. breakfast cookie, hot chocolate, skinny cow ice cream, 7 parmesean pretzel crackers, I think thats it.

So I’m kind of noticing that I’m eating breakfast cookies as um, not breakfast food. When I do look to eat one, its usually “to replace an additional part of my meal, like meat.” At least I think thats whats going through my head when I try to justify it. I think the safest thing to say here is, there is no such thing as a “safe” cookie. They’re either all the devil or their all forgivable. There is no middle.

25 mins Zumba + additional stretching, and walking .75 of a mile (which I’m never sure whether or not to include this .75 of a mile because its part of my daily commute).

Tomorrow I gotta focus on my homework. I’m starting to feel… rushed. Also, I’m really tired, and probably should have just left this part out. Good night, good morning, Namaste.

Vacation with Mother

Its been a while, eh? I’ve been busy, trying to eat well, deal with living on my own for the very first time ever, and right now, I’m sitting in a hotel room in Northern California, watching the light fade into fog, listening to my mother snore, and curiously wondering the fate of this beautiful state. This blog used to be dedicated to politics and other junk media before it started to bore me. Specifically, I wrote in here quite a bit regarding same sex marriage and Alaska politics.

I am for same sex marriage, and unions, and love. I think two people loving each other is a beautiful thing. Judge Walker the federal judge who overturned Prop 8 today seems to be a very brave man. I surely hope this doesn’t go the way of all the other failed attempts to legalize gay marriage. That’s all I have to say about that today.

As for my eating, I think I’ve been doing well. We went on a couple of walks today. One was hardcore (even though the trail was marked as moderate) and I didn’t actually make it to the end. It started out relatively easy, but once we reached the bench, it started going down very steeply and muddily in all most a spiral. Off in the distance, I could hear the waves crashing onto the shore, and I knew if I just kept at it a little longer, I would be rewarded. But the trail wouldn’t let up, and it was raining, and I just had to turn around. Of course I was a little disappointed I hadn’t finished it, but climbing up from where I stopped was so intense, I had to stop every 10 feet to catch my breath. It was a good thing I stopped where I did, because just when I was about to reach where I had left my mom, I saw her working her way down the trail.

My mom broke her leg last year. Her thigh bone snapped then shattered, and there’s 17 pins and a titanium rod holding it together now. She is also overweight like me, (I’m over weight like her?) and has really bad arthritis in both of her knees. She sometimes uses a cane, and can’t really walk for more than 15 minutes at a time. Each step she takes is a terrible terrible struggle. Her going down that trail might have made toss in her towel, no joke. It was brutal. Gorgeous, but brutal.

She’s also done all of the driving because I never learned how. It was interesting  to see her when she wasn’t in control of the situation. I don’t think I realized how much she needed to be in control. I always felt like she didn’t have control over me, but my opinion is starting to change a little. We got in a sky tram to view the Trees of Mystery and she almost vomited because she didn’t have control over the situation. It was weird.

We also had a fight about food. At the restaurant yesterday, I ordered a 1/4 rack of ribs. She then told the waiter to make it a 1/2 rack because she might want to eat some later. She insisted. I didn’t want all that meat. I wanted what I wanted. There was good chance that I wouldn’t have eaten all of the 1/4 rack because I wasn’t really that hungry. But instead, she won, and we didn’t talk for all of dinner.

Have you ever had to fight your own mother for food? I felt like I was 5 years old again, disappointed to open the fridge after school, expecting to see my dessert from the night before, just to realize it had already been eaten. This happened all through out my childhood. If I didn’t eat it first, if I didn’t eat it all, then there was a good chance I would never have the opportunity to eat it again. We were poor. There were many many days when we just didn’t know where our next meal was going to come from.

I hate feeling that way. Its just food, and more can be obtained. I know this now. But sitting in that restaurant, with my back to everyone (so I wouldn’t make faces or stare at the other guests, because that’s what I did when when I was a child- don’t all of them? This two year old was totally flirting with me today at lunch!), not being allowed to order what I wanted to order, made me flip my lid. I followed the beach back to the hotel (which was something I needed) which was about a mile away, and tried to work out my anger. As soon as I got to the room, my mom left. She couldn’t be around me either.  (This is all figured out and water under the bridge, by the way)

(That’s my “I’m stressed and I don’t know what to do next!” face)
I’m about to go to bed, we have another long day of driving and not much else tomorrow. We’re going up the hwy 101, and going to stay the night in some small town off the ocean in Oregon, before finally making our way “home”. I don’t have a home in Oregon anymore. Its weird to say that. The only home I have is the one I’ve created for myself in Alaska.
Okay. I’m getting a little too off topic. I must be super tired . Until next time, friends.

If I Don’t do this Now, I Never Will

I feel like the last couple of weeks I’ve been falling apart by pieces. Overall, I feel exactly the same as I did yesterday, and last week, or even 6 months ago. I mean, I feel lonely all the time. This past weekend, my roommate finally moved away, back to Ohio. This was good for her- she needed out. This is bad for me, because I’m already a naturally quiet loner type. And now, I go home to an empty house, to watch tv all by myself to cook and eat dinner all by myself. I’ve been all by myself for years. I’m over it. (Oh, I can’t tell you how badly I don’t want a roommate though…)

Confession: The excuse I’ve been using to put off updating this blog more often is: “I haven’t uploaded any of the pictures I’ve taken yet!”

Last weekend before my roommate left, I went on a 7 mile walk, to prepare for my half Marathon in August. It was a beautiful day out, and the trail I took follows right along the ocean. It was quiet, and breezy. It took about 3 hours all together, and I was positively exshausted afterwards. But I felt so accomplished and proud.

So I used it as an excuse to eat however I wanted, whatever I wanted for the next two days. *growls at self*

This is something I’ve noticed I’ve done in the recent past as well. I have a week of good days, finally see the number drop a fair amount on the scale, and become so excited that…. I eat. Even worse, I give myself permission to eat all those things I didn’t have permission to eat the week before.  So my weight drops, then two days later its like it never happened, and I lose those same 3 pounds all over again. Its a bitter cycle, one I hadn’t prepared for.

How do you all reward yourself?  Is it a conscious thing, or a subconscious thing? Any ideas how I can go about rewarding myself with things that aren’t food?

Redefining a Goal

The last couple of weeks, I’ve been trying to do the Couch 2 5k program. It started out easy, and after Monday, when I repeated Week 2 Day 3 for a third time, I realized that trying to jog 3.1 miles in 4 more weeks was going to be suicide. I’m just not there yet. And I’m okay with that. The reason I jumped for something that might be unattainable is because I was looking for something challenging that I knew I could do. At some point, yes, I will be able to run 3.1 miles. Now that I know I can move my body, and enjoy its bulbous swaying, I know I can look forward to this. In the future.

Instead, what I will be doing is walking a half marathon. 13 miles in six or less hours. Right now, I know I can walk about 5 miles before I feel like falling over dead. I am very confident in myself to achieve this new goal in the 4 weeks allotted to me.

Originally, I had decided that as a gift to myself for completing the 5k, I would buy a new phone. Now that my goal has changed, (and all of my plans have changed) I decided that I will purchase a gym membership upon my completion of walking the half marathon. I figure, if I can dedicate myself to a half marathon, then I can dedicate myself to a gym. Come September, its going to start getting cold, and dark, and I’ll be in school and working 12 hours a day. If I don’t have a place outside of my house to decompress, I’m not sure I’ll make it through another winter.

Something I’ve learned about myself: I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment. Everyday I finished a C25k segment, I wanted to cheer. Hell, I did cheer. I didn’t think I’d get through it, but I did. But I know now that my progress with the program is going to slow dramatically until I get some of this fat off, and take the pressure off my knees.

Half Marathon August 15th. Anyone want to join me in preparing for this monstrous event? Its gonna be fun!

Accomplished: Alaska Run for Women (Except I Walked)

Boy am I glad I went out and bought a sugar free Red Bull last night. I knew I was going to need it this morning.
I know I’ve gone on about the sun here in Alaska, but man, I just don’t remember it affecting me like this last year. I didn’t get to bed until two, and just as I was falling asleep, my roommate finally came home, and was loud until about 6 am, when my alarm went off for the first time because I knew I was going to need additional time in waking up.

I made sure to get some good stretching in, as well as two large glasses of water, and made some eggs with cinnamon chip bread. I ate half of the slice before the walk, and the other half well after the walk was over.

So, I live near where the event was taking place, and decided it’d be convenient for me to walk, and it was. Just not so much walking home. My legs felt like led at that point, and every step jarred my hips, something I usually don’t have an issue with. The path was actually part of the route, and so I got to walk the same mile three times today.  It winds underneath two of the busiest roads in Anchorage and deposits you right next to the Sullivan Arena. Once I reached there, I went to where I was told to meet up: at the port-a-potties near the back. I went there, and didn’t see a single person from when we decorated shirts on Thursday. Granted, there were only four people at the decorating party, but still. I did my part and showed up on time, where were they?

Finally, the last call for stragglers was called, and the crowd moved through to the parking lot where the walk actually began. There I saw an entire wall of portapotties. Encouraged, i started hanging out near the back, as explained to earlier. But alas, I still couldn’t find anyone.

I was in a sea of people. The goal was to have 10,000 women sign up this year. They didn’t reach it, but they did get 7100 women registered, which is pretty amazing. I love how active Anchorage’s community is. I think the announcer said something about it being the 3rd largest women’s only run in the country, but I can’t be sure. Either way, it was amazing to see all the different teams, the survivors of Breast Cancer, and all the love that was there.  Being me of course, I brought my headphones and ipod, and turned it up full blast. I occasionally took my earbuds out to hear the bands as we walked by, and I know if I had left them out, eventually someone would have tried to talk to me. But I couldn’t. I needed my security blanket to get through this walk.

The walk takes us downtown, then wraps around the Tony Knowles Coastal Trail, before heading back to the arena. At one part of the walk, during mile 3, we go very close indeed to my house, and my legs were killing me at that point, and it took every ounce of strength in me to continue onward. I credit 98% of my willpower to continue onward to this blog and its readers. I didn’t want to disappoint you, or  more importantly, explain any potential disappointment in myself. When I finally made it through the pink finish line, I was excited, but I was tired. I was already considering how I was going to get home. I briefly considered calling a cab, but thought that if I’m going to be a Walker today, then I was going to be a BAMF about it and walk home too. All together I walked 7 miles.

Minutes after crossing the finish line, I walk over to the water station and grab a cup. I look over to find the nearest trash, and who should I see, but one of my team members! Yay! Finally! Apparently they hadn’t been able to find anyone else either. So we snapped a couple of pictures, and went on our way.

I went home, slowly, talking on the phone with my mother the whole way. There were so many times when I just wanted to sit down, and take a break. I know my body though, and knew if I sat down before I was really ready, I would not get up. I would not be able to, or if I was able to, it was hurt more than it did already.

I took a shower for as long as I could stand to be on my feet, and then crawled into bed. Once in bed, I fell asleep.  I woke up around 5pm, disoriented and in a lot of pain. My right hip and my left knee were just on fire. Finally I considered the day a success. I love the feeling of my body being worn out. Its oddly rewarding.

How did you feel after your first walk/run event?

Before the Weekend Begins

Warning: I have a huge spoiler for Where the Wild Things Are in the Center of this post. If you are like I was, and have not seen it, and do not wish to be spoiled, please be ware.

I’m one of those people who don’t leave the house once they’re “done with the day”. I mean, once I get home from work, I don’t want to go out to dinner. I don’t to go shopping. I don’t want to wear clothes that aren’t my pajamas. But occasionally, and more frequently with having friends, it happens.

Yesterday could have been another one of those days. However, it so happened that I had stuff to do before I went home.<— Ah. Yes. See, that little loophole? I can pretty much be convinced to do anything if it includes 1) getting out of work early 2) involves food, movies, is relatively inexpensive, or a combination 3) means I don’t have to go home right away because if I go home right away I DONT DO ANYTHING.

So yesterday, I left work early (there’s number 1) to go eat a Popsicle at the park (2) whilst decorating my shirt for the Alaska Run for Women on Saturday. Just as I was finishing my shirt, my neighbor swung by and picked me up so we could go to the new IMAX theatre and see a $2 movie with $2 soda and $2 popcorn (the 2 trifecta). We didn’t get home until about midnight (and lucky number 3).

See, I don’t mind doing that. I maybe even enjoy it. But I can’t go home because once I’m home, I’m done for the day. I don’t understand it. My mother is the same way. She’s even more hardcore about it though. She’ll wake up super early, get all her chores, and errands done by noon, and pack it in for the rest of the day. Wouldn’t crawl out of bed or off the couch unless it was on fire. hmm.

Coming back from the movie, I promised my neighbor that I would buy her Wendy’s because I owed her for a dinner, and the ticket, and she was in a really bad mood in general. I bought a chicken nugget meal, and only ate half my nugs, and half my fries. I tried ordering a salad, and they told me NO. What was a girl to do? (Yeah I know- not order it. I wasn’t hungry but I hadn’t eaten dinner. It was that weird mind trap.) Its okay because I did not stuff myself, and when I felt that I was going there, I stopped. Barely, but I did it.


Yesterday was the first time I saw Where the Wild Things Are. I don’t really remember the book, I just remember the author. Maurice Sendak. Oh how I loved him. He spoke to my 4 year old soul. I’m 24 years old and still watch Little Bear. I would still read it too, if I had any of my books left. Little Bear taught me to read.  Max, this super interesting kid who has a very active imagination, and not nearly enough attention, demands food from his mother, then runs away into a near by forest, which is on the edge of water. There he finds a boat and ends up in high seas, before crashing into an island far away. And thats where this little boys imagination psychosis starts to unravel. Monsters. Monsters that are destroying things, and having a trantrum almost as big as his own. At one point, the bird monster, Douglas has a limb removed physically from his body, and sand torrents out of the empty space it used to occupy. Douglas was described at the one that would do anything for you, always the one you want on your team.

I don’t remember this book at all. At. All.

Luckily, Max comes to his senses and leaves, howling into the dark until the island fades, and the sun goes down. Suddenly he’s running down the street into his house, then tiptoes into the kitchen. His mother hugs him, and gives him dinner.

The End.

So, it was good because it was visually stunning, the set was jaw dropping, Max Records is adorable, and I was watching it on a 70 ft. wide screen. If I was 10 years old watching that, I would have fallen asleep. If I was 10 years old and didn’t fall asleep, it was because the screen was also 40 ft tall, and thats just kind of cool no matter how old you are. This theater blocks out the view of the mountains.

Maybe this is a little childish of me, but the song in the background during the trailer? It’s in the movie. I waited with abated breath for a sweeping aerial scene, something of epic proportions (of which the movie had many), and it never did. I was pissed. I walked away feeling like I never needed to see it again, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. It’ll haunt me every time I look back to it in my mind. I’m sure I will watch it again, though currently I don’t feel the need to. I’ll remember every feeling, good or bad, the fort they made, and the perplexing ending that will leave me to wonder, what happens next?



Today was absolutely impossible to get out of bed. The only reason  I didn’t truly consider going into work today was because my co-worker texted me that she wasn’t going in, first. Bitch. So I stopped by the AK Cake Studio, and grabbed a apple coffee cake, and a raspberry mocha. The Cake Studio is relatively new, and prior to May, I would go there up to three times a week to grab a coffee and a pastry for breakfast. It had been a while, and I missed it.

The Apple Coffee Cake was delicious. I’ve had it a few times before, but only noticed that there were actually apples in it for the first time today. My mocha was ice cold by the time I had chugged the end of it down, nearly two hours after its purchase. I wasn’t paying too much mind while eating the coffee cake. Just as I started to eat it, I was interrupted by a client and had to assist them for a good hour or so. But it just seemed to last forever. At one point I looked down and was surprised at how much was left. I picked up the last 3rd of it, and nibbled down on it until nothing was left.

I finished eating around 11:30am. My coworkers asked me to go to lunch with them at 12:15pm. Had this happened on Monday, I would have went, regardless of the 1200 calories (or there abouts) I had just consumed less than an hour before.

Around 2:30pm, I got really intense hunger pains. Hunger pains that made me feel if I did not attend to them immediately, I would pass out. I had considered going to get a reindeer dog (amazing, and low carb/fat… until you add the bun. And cheese. And onions caramelized in Coca-Cola.) but there was this other sidewalk vendor, who was new this summer, and I wanted to try it. Its called Smitty’s and it serves Poutine. Never heard of it? Neither had I, until I read the linked article. Its fries, cheese curds, and brown gravy. Its a “dieter’s” worst nightmare, and utterly scrumptious. Luckily, the walk to get it and back from my office was nearly a mile, I had already made one round around the block, and it wasn’t raining and so I walked home. The gooey cheese, and soggy fries were sinful. It could easily become the new comfort food. I’m sorry for even writing about it, but if you ever come to Anchorage in the summer, you should make a stop by there. Or go to Quebec, because apparently that’s where its super popular.

So today has been a very high calorie day, I imagine it won’t get much better, but the good news is, I’m not hungry, and I know when to recognize when I am. I think I’ll be munching on fruit, edamame, and gum for the rest of the evening though. Maybe one of those Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches. Maybe.