Vegan Month day 3

Every single morning I wake up and crave food, I instantly start chanting internally “I’m vegan now, I’m vegan now, vegan vegan vegan. No dairy, no eggs, no meat, no *gulp* cheese. No animal by products. Must be aware. Be aware. I’m vegan now, I’m vegan now.” 

Not going to lie, its kind of been a struggle. I keep asking myself, “Okay, I can’t eat that, what do I eat?” And come up with blanks.

Luckily there is this amazing website called finding-vegan.com which is like a RSS feed of vegan recipes online, in picture form. It is simply the most amazing website I’ve stumbled upon (quite literally- I love stumbleupon.com!) since icanhazcheezburger.com.

Iz ok..  we're Veeganz.

Lunch is Thai Kitchen: Thai Peanut Rice Noodles and sauce. I hope it tides me over til tonight. I’m making cornfritters for dinner/tomorrows breakfast.

I usually buy coffee and a pastry on fridays as my “reward” for making it through the week, and for making it to work so early (its the only day I work 9-5). Until I become more comfortable in my veganism, all bets are off, so no more coffee shop stops for me.

Tomorrow night I’m going to figure out what to do with my tempeh for dinner.           

Advertisements

Todays lunch

I made Quinoa Puttenesca for lunch today. This recipe was modified from Appetite for Reduction: 125 Fast and Filling Low-Fat Vegan Recipes… it included capers. I don’t know what they are, and to be perfectly honest, I intend living the rest of my life without discovering their nature. I replaced them with feta.

It also called for white wine which I didn’t have on hand so I replaced that with vegetable broth. It’s quite tasty. I like the contrast of the quinoa with the olives and cheese. It was a nice change from regular pasta. I do love me some kalamata olives, and this was my first time actually cooking with them. Its been a long time since I’ve had quinoa and I forgot how much I enjoy the nuttiness and the crunchiness. Like little globes popping in your mouth with every bite.

I was in quite the rush today. I went to the gym this morning, after waking up and dreading the idea of getting out of bed. It was a great experience! I finished W2D1 of c25k. I also did 15 minutes on the elliptical cause I love that thing. Though, there was this lunk there that hopped on the treadmill between me and some other dude, even though there were plenty others available, and then kept looking at our progress and making faces. He would just stare until I looked over at him. It was frustrating because I was doing awesome! I kept my heart rate in check and didn’t give up even when I was running out of time to catch the bus, and this guy is going to pass judgment on me for what? His own damn ego? I’mma throw a stick on his treadmill next time!

So I’ve got about 4 more hours of work left before I go home, and my body is deliciously sore, and my tummy deliciously sated. All and all its been a pretty good day. Going to hit it hard tomorrow, and then Friday is my friends birthday. We’re going to the museum and I don’t know what else but it should be a good long day!

Avocado Avocado!

Breakfast
2 eggs, cheddar cheese and spinach in an omelet form, about a cup of orange juice. Sugar free rockstar.

Lunch
Spinach salad with feta cheese, green onion, avocado and orange. Raspberry vinaigrette dressing.

Dinner
2 quesadillas, 2 heaped tablespoons of sour cream, 1 avocado.

Exercise
35 mins Zumba
20 minutes stretching

I ate breakfast in a rush today. I was running behind this morning because of my inability to wake up before 9am. I should probably start going to bed earlier, but I just can’t. I can’t wait until the sun comes up at 5am and I only need 3 hours of sleep to get through the night.

Lunch happened around 3:30ish, I cut up the avocado which was nearly bad and the orange, threw it in my salad and went to town. It held me over until dinner where I had a couple quesadillas with my last avocado.*

I’m going to stop buying avocado. I love them so much that its starting to border on obsession. Also, I only go shopping once every other week, so when I buy several avocados, they all ripen at the same time, and I feel “pressured” to eat them. And by pressured I mean overjoyed. But alas, even with all the healthy benefits of avocado, eating two whole ones a day simply is not going to produce the results I’m looking for. So, I’ve got one today, one for tomorrow, and then I’m limiting myself buying ONE one the rest of my shopping trips. I wish they froze well.

(*I wrote all the above just before lunch. Its 1130pm, and I’ve just finished eating dinner.)

The difference a few hours makes is astounding. The differences a few minutes make can be legendary. The difference a few seconds can make could rock your world.

I struggled to make dinner. I was in the middle of washing dishes, and just didn’t have a feeling of  “fuel body” but I was worried once I went to bed (or even just sat down) that I would realize I was hungry, and then suddenly be to the point of not caring what went inside. So I stopped washing dishes and started preparing dinner. It should have been a relatively easy thing to do. I make dinner every night, I have since I was 12. But noticing that I wasn’t hungry, did I then decide to pass on the avocado? It seemed to be just wasteful to not eat the whole thing, but damn, two avocados in a day? Really? Is that going to help me lose weight? I thought about throwing the other half away- and why that simply wouldn’t be acceptable. Its avocado. Then I pondered the possibility of eating it all, as a final hurrah of sorts. But how are you supposed to lose weight when your are constantly having a “last hurrah!”? Not very easily, I suspect. Finally I threw my hands up in the air and wondered how the hell I was supposed to lose any weight at all if my thinking about food is so disordered? How the hell am I supposed to navigate that mess I’ve weaved over the last 25 years?

Breakthrough. I mashed up the whole avocado. I would eat it mindfully. I would focus all my attention on the texture and flavor, the way the cheese melts and the tanginess of the sour cream. I would not allow myself to feel guilty. I would stop eating when I was full. If that meant I ate the entire avocado, then that was okay and I was not going to feel guilty about it. I’ve already made a decision to never keep that many avocados in my house again. 

I turned off the tv, I sat down in front of the table. I closed my eyes and took a breath. I asked my body on a scale of 1 to 10, how hungry it was. It answered with a surprised 8. I began to take my first bite.

And then I heard a rapid exchange of knocking, or to my already panicked ears, gun fire. (You have to understand, my neighbors who recently seperated, have not had the kind of relationship that is afraid of phsyical arguments. When alcohol is involved, who knows what could happen. I’m not ready for that kind of eventuality, and I freaked out.) I grabbed my plate (because I was starved at that point, like I hadn’t eaten all day and not just the last 6 hours) and went up to my room. I locked my door. I ate at the avocado, and the rest of the first quesadilla, with little mindfulness. I was too busy listening for screams, shuffling bodies, or sirens. But the food calmed me. It served its old purpose well, I guess. I came back downstairs after I was sure the “coast was clear”, and sat down, turned on the tv and continued to eat the second quesadilla with the rest of the avocado. I am completely overwhelmed at how much effort I had to put into tonight’s dinner. It should have been a simple, quiet, dinner, followed by bed. Instead I’m rattled and worried, and feeling a little guilty about how I ate.

On the bright side, no more Avocados.

Food log 2/1/11

Breakfast
Breakfast cookie, banana, half cup hot cocoa. (My whey protein curdled in my mug. I was pretty distraught.)

Lunch
2 cups black bean corn couscous salad, breakfast cookie, handful of trailmix. (I felt starved all day at work. It was terrible.)

Dinner
whole grain spaghetti with broccoli, spinach, and alfredo sauce. breakfast cookie, hot chocolate, skinny cow ice cream, 7 parmesean pretzel crackers, I think thats it.

So I’m kind of noticing that I’m eating breakfast cookies as um, not breakfast food. When I do look to eat one, its usually “to replace an additional part of my meal, like meat.” At least I think thats whats going through my head when I try to justify it. I think the safest thing to say here is, there is no such thing as a “safe” cookie. They’re either all the devil or their all forgivable. There is no middle.

Exercise
25 mins Zumba + additional stretching, and walking .75 of a mile (which I’m never sure whether or not to include this .75 of a mile because its part of my daily commute).

Tomorrow I gotta focus on my homework. I’m starting to feel… rushed. Also, I’m really tired, and probably should have just left this part out. Good night, good morning, Namaste.

Food log 1/31/11

Breakfast

Chonga bagel skinny mocha

Lunch
spinach swiss tomato and kalamata olives on multigrain bread- delish. 20 oz cherry coke.

Dinner
Breakfast cookie banana santa fe rice and beans by eating right.

Monday I was so tired. Two people in my office are sick right now, and I’m kinda worried I’m gonna be next. Monday night I went home, and watched an episode of Heavy. I was actually kind of impressed, I like the flow of the show. I felt so bad watching the show and just sitting there, that I started stretching, which led me into some free style yoga. I even did 20 push ups on my knees.

And then something happened. I found a second, third and fourth wind at 9pm (all at the same time!), and couldn’t get myself to settle down until well after 2am. I don’t know if this is something I should complain/worry about because well, who doesn’t want an extra burst of energy just before the day ends? I guess I wish I just handled it better. I was really confused and didn’t know what to do, so I did a little bit of everything but didn’t really do much of anything.

Oh well. Tuesday is a new day.

Food Log 1/26/11

Breakfast
1 bagel with cream cheese, 1 cup poor mans mocha (drip coffee + hot cocoa) with 1/2 serving vanilla whey protein, handful of cashews

Lunch
1 serving “traditional lentil soup” by “healthy choice” (Or as I like to call it; GROSS), 2 oz hummus, 1 serving wheat thins, 1 16 oz can pineapple in its own juice.

Dinner
4 beef flavored vegetarian taquitos, 3 tbs cheese, 2 tbs sour cream, 2 tbs southwest salsa; diet pepsi. fiber plus bar.

Snack
3 dried apricots, handful of cashews.

So right now, I have lots of food to make certain items, but nothing that really makes a meal. Thats one thing that always bothered me about vegetarianism; I always feel relegated to the side items. No main course for me.

Food Log 1/25/11

Breakfast
Half kashi go lean crunch half special k red berries plus 1 cup almond milk.

Filling and delicious. Don’t really care for plain almond milk. I’ll keep trying it though. Bought this Silk brand this time.

Lunch
20 oz. Mt. dew 1 serving easy mac

Not particularly pleased, but my cupboards are running out of prepackaged food and I just haven’t had time to cook, but I’m hoping to create a menu for next week and see how that goes. Try to control my portions a little better.

Dinner
Two pork purses with sauce, 5 oz. short rib on a bed of curry sauce covered polenta, about 1.5 oz peanut butter pie with oreo crust and chocolate ganashe. 2 16 oz cokes. A handful of cashews.

I don’t think I have to tell you how delicious it all was. Because it was. Every bite was mouth watering. I ate every single bite. And while my stomach whined about it later, I figured it was okay because I’ll probably never eat dinner there again. (totes expensive)

Now, lunch on the other hand….

Food Log 1/24/11

Breakfast

Skinny raspberry mocha and an herb and cheese bagel with cream cheese

Lunch
2 pieces of pizza

Dinner
1 slice of pizza; 1/2 cup cashews, 12 oz diet pepsi, fiber plus bar, 16 oz. hot cocoa.

Exercise
1 mile of walking

Last night was such a struggle for me to not eat. I spent nearly 10 minutes rummaging my cupboards before forcefully reminding myself that I wasn’t hungry, just bored, it was late and I needed to go to bed. I dragged my sorry self upstairs, and eventually tuckered out of the night. It was a terrible struggle however.

When Change Rains, it Pours

On Wednesday last week, I tweeted about not having any real defined goals. So, over this weekend, I decided to define them. But first, a weekend recap.

Friday I was supposed to go to a concert a local bar, but I just felt horrible all day, so I stayed home and tried to get some rest. Saturday, my friend who recently came home from Afghanistan via the Army came into town and I took her to see Avenue Q. Avenue Q, for those who don’t know, is a wonderfully subversive musical with Jim Henson like puppets, and Gary Coleman as played by a woman. It is fantastic. I was really happy to be able to take her to something that was so hilariously upbeat considering some of the subjects they hit upon. And I worried that being in the middle of the row, and having a full audience might cause her some panic but she handled the whole thing pretty well.

Afterward, we went to Spenard Roadhouse for dinner, which is one of my favorite restaurants in town. Its very eclectic, casual, and trendy. Family oriented, but serves all your favorite alcoholic drinks. I don’t eat out often, but when I do, I try to come here. I love it. For dinner I had a veggie sandwich (apparently I am not a fan of fontina cheese- who knew) and split pea and ham soup (cause I’m a flexitarian now and I can eat meat when I eat out). Oh yes, and an order of super tots, which are possibly deadly. Tater tots topped with chives, green onions, cheddar cheese, bacon and sour cream.  We talked about all sorts of things, caught up on everything she’d missed while she was gone. She told me she started running while overseas, and I mentioned to her my goal of running a 5k by the end of the summer. She’s being stationed in Hawaii, and so, plans started forming in my head.

Because we had gone to the early show, when dinner was over, it was still kinda early, so we headed off to the movies and watched No Strings Attached. Did I love it? Of course I did. I love Natalie Portman and most romantic comedies. My friend dropped me off afterwards, and I comptemplated cleaning my kitchen. I think I watched How I Met Your Mother and went to bed instead.

It was a great day, but I couldn’t help but notice how much of the day I spent sitting. I didn’t particularly want to sit, but I couldn’t think of anything that sounded remotely fun that didn’t involves lots of sitting.

Sunday was my day of rest. Of course by day of rest, I mean it was my day of cleaning and school work, and watching Sarah Marshall twice- once with commentary and once without. For brunch I had easy mac and a fiber plus bar. I wanted to cook something, but my kitchen is half destroyed right now cause I can’t seem to wash all my dishes in one go, so I ordered an extra large pizza instead. Why? I don’t know. It seemed easier, I guess. I ordered a garlic veggie supreme and mozzarella sticks. (THIS IS HOW PEOPLE STAY FAT, JSYK). I ate half of it before forcing myself to go to bed.

The good news though. After my conversation with my friend, I started looking at races happening in Hawaii around my birthday. The closest one I could find is the Maui Marathon on Sept. 18th this year. I am going. My mother is going. My friend is going. Its going to be great.

Now, if you are actually viewing my blog, you might notice a new widget on the right side of the screen. Its to raise money for the Warmth Walk sponsored by United Way Anchorage on Feburary 19th. I will be walking. Its only a mile, and should go pretty quickly, but I thought it would be a nice way to get excited for Break Up (known in other parts of the country as “Spring”) and the Summer to come! So if anyone would like to donate some dollars, your help is much appreciated.

So to recap. Short term and long term goals have been defined:

Short term: Walk for Warmth; getting as physically ready for c25k as possible
Medium term: Womens Walk for Cure (or some such thing in May); start/complete c25k; other races as applicable
Long term: Flying my mother and myself to Maui for the 41st Maui Marathon in Sept (I’m going to walk/run the 1/2).; maintaining flexitarianism, make healthy food choices; see consistent weight loss.

This is going to be a great summer.

Food Log 1/20/11

Breakfast
Single serving brie, sesame crackers, half an apple.

Lunch
Peanut butter oatmeal m&m chocolate chip cookie (1 large cookie, just so that’s clear. I was confused too.) two cups veggie spanish rice with cheese, diet coke.

Graduation
1 piece cake, 3 stalks broccoli, 1 baby carrot, 3 snap peas, dip, one cup of punch.

Dinner
1.5 cups veggie spanish rice with cheese and sour cream.

Exercise

20 mins Zumba.

My work has an alternative high school that has a mid school year graduation. 10 students graduated, 5 of them showed up this year. I acted as photographer 2.  It was really beautiful. I am always inspired by these kids who go through hell to get their diploma, but do it anyway. They don’t know just how amazing their achievement is at that point. The day you receive your diploma is the day people take you just a little more seriously. I’m so proud of all of them, and really happy that I got to be apart of their success.